Twenty Things I Wouldn’t Be Thinking About If I’d Been a Twenty-Something Bride

I don't have photogrpahic evidence of the chintz dress, but it looked a lot like the the one the bride wore to this college dance...


The first time I served as a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding was in 1992. We wore pink floral chintz dresses with dyed-to-match peau de soie pumps (they were so uncomfortable, I took them off halfway through the reception). I don’t possess any photographic evidence of the chintz, though it resembled this one worn by the bride to a college dance.

Mauve lace

Mauve lace

My second time as a bridesmaid, I wore a mauve dress with a lace-up back and caught the bouquet—though it’s taken me twenty years to realize the promise of that ritual.

I’ve watched many friends marry over the last two decades. In that time I’ve changed, the world has changed, and weddings have definitely changed.

Here’s a list of a few things I’ve found myself thinking about as a forty-something first-time bride that would probably not have been on my radar as a fresh-faced twenty-something in the 1990s:

1)  Weird wedding photos getting posted on social media.
2)  Whether we’ll get an errant cell phone serenade during the ceremony.
3)  The risk of any mishaps going viral.
4)  Pinterest.
5)  Burlap. (Why?)
6)  Mason jars. (Why again? Oh wait: see #4.)
7)  Two wedding dresses. Choosing just one is hard, but double dresses means double decisions–and dollars. No thanks!
8)  Reassuring bridesmaids their visible tattoos are okay.
9)  What the Pantone color of the year is. (Marsala.)
10)  What information to include on the wedding website.
11)  Whether or not to have a drone film part of our wedding. Seriously.
12)  Being mistaken for the mother of the bride. Repeatedly.
13)  What size Spanx I wear.
14)  Where to stash my reading glasses if we read our vows.
15)  The environmental impact of wedding favors. (We should have been thinking about this in the nineties, but I don’t think anyone was, much.)
16)  What Steve thinks about the wedding colors. Or centerpieces. Or anything wedding-related. (Ditto: the groom’s tastes should be considered, but usually they weren’t.)
17)  What to serve as our signature cocktail.
18)  Just how creative my college-age stepsons might get with their toasts.
19)  Whether we’ll be able to stay awake through a reception lasting past our bedtime.
20)  What wedding details to share on my blog this week. 🙂

Oh, and how could I forget?
21) Unity sand.

Not then, not now...

Not then, not now…