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Twenty Things I Wouldn’t Be Thinking About If I’d Been a Twenty-Something Bride

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I don't have photogrpahic evidence of the chintz dress, but it looked a lot like the the one the bride wore to this college dance...

Chintz

The first time I served as a bridesmaid for a friend’s wedding was in 1992. We wore pink floral chintz dresses with dyed-to-match peau de soie pumps (they were so uncomfortable, I took them off halfway through the reception). I don’t possess any photographic evidence of the chintz, though it resembled this one worn by the bride to a college dance.

Mauve lace

Mauve lace

My second time as a bridesmaid, I wore a mauve dress with a lace-up back and caught the bouquet—though it’s taken me twenty years to realize the promise of that ritual.

I’ve watched many friends marry over the last two decades. In that time I’ve changed, the world has changed, and weddings have definitely changed.

Here’s a list of a few things I’ve found myself thinking about as a forty-something first-time bride that would probably not have been on my radar as a fresh-faced twenty-something in the 1990s:

1)  Weird wedding photos getting posted on social media.
2)  Whether we’ll get an errant cell phone serenade during the ceremony.
3)  The risk of any mishaps going viral.
4)  Pinterest.
5)  Burlap. (Why?)
6)  Mason jars. (Why again? Oh wait: see #4.)
7)  Two wedding dresses. Choosing just one is hard, but double dresses means double decisions–and dollars. No thanks!
8)  Reassuring bridesmaids their visible tattoos are okay.
9)  What the Pantone color of the year is. (Marsala.)
10)  What information to include on the wedding website.
11)  Whether or not to have a drone film part of our wedding. Seriously.
12)  Being mistaken for the mother of the bride. Repeatedly.
13)  What size Spanx I wear.
14)  Where to stash my reading glasses if we read our vows.
15)  The environmental impact of wedding favors. (We should have been thinking about this in the nineties, but I don’t think anyone was, much.)
16)  What Steve thinks about the wedding colors. Or centerpieces. Or anything wedding-related. (Ditto: the groom’s tastes should be considered, but usually they weren’t.)
17)  What to serve as our signature cocktail.
18)  Just how creative my college-age stepsons might get with their toasts.
19)  Whether we’ll be able to stay awake through a reception lasting past our bedtime.
20)  What wedding details to share on my blog this week. 🙂

Oh, and how could I forget?
21) Unity sand.

Not then, not now...

Not then, not now…

 

Into Every Life…

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“True love is beyond the physical and romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, and will not be. Life isn’t about learning how to weather the storm, but learning how to dance in the rain.”

I found several versions of this quotation in Steve’s mother’s apartment when we packed her things to move her to a new space–one typed, one in calligraphy–framed and on display. I don’t know the origin of these few sentences (the interwebs claim Taylor Swift, but I’m pretty sure typewriters and onion skin paper predate the nineties-born singer). The last puzzles me a little: isn’t dancing in the rain a way of weathering the storm?

Still, the sentiments struck a chord, as they reflect some basic truths about what I’ve come to know of love. Maybe the last one is about attitude: the difference being whether one focuses on the storm, or the dancing.

So, shall we dance?

dancing-in-the-rain

FsFTB is keeping it short today to devote time to making a few organization/navigation upgrades to the blog this week. Back on Friday as usual!

Summer Reading: Books for Lovers

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BookshelfBased on the number of women populating the pedicure chairs at the salon yesterday, summer has arrived for most of us, even if the calendar doesn’t declare it official until late next month. Colorful toes peek out of sandals, peonies bloom out in frothy bursts, and otherwise sun-lethargic cats shed fur like mad. One of the best things about these long, bright days for a bibliophile like me: time for summer reading.

It seems even those who don’t read much other times of year dive into books while on the beach, or on the plane they take to get there. My own summer reading is a pretty mixed bag: memoirs, literary novels, nature writing, cheesy mysteries. Should you be searching for some books to add to your summer booklist, here are my top five picks of books for lovers. Continue reading →

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On the Lake, In my Heart

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Recently my parents hosted a small gathering in Georgia so Steve could meet some of the folks from down South who’d known me back in the day (and loved me anyway, I reckon). Through a charity silent auction, my parents had secured an afternoon on a houseboat on the lake, and though the forecast threatened to rain us out, it turned out to be a beautiful day.

Lake Lanier, Aqualand
Houseboat at sail
Lake Lanier

I’d never been on a houseboat before myself, so I enjoyed just ogling our digs-for-the-day! There was yummy barbecue, games and puzzles, a photo booth with goofy props. And M&Ms with our faces on them! Continue reading →

Let’s Take a Hike

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Lady-slipper

Lady-slipper

It’s a beautiful spring day, the kind with just enough crisp in the breeze to start out with a light jacket, just enough sun in the sky to later slip it off. The Appalachian mountains call me this time of year. On the forest floor lady-slippers and trillium bloom yellow and pink, while high above, tall trees re-sheathe their limbs in green. Fat robins rustle in the nearby brush. Sun-dappled shade filters through the canopy, lighting a flame azalea on a far hillside, making it look for all the world like the mystical, ethereal burning bush.

I grew up going camping with my family and Girl Scout troop, and more and more in recent years I’ve sought again the solace of the trees. Or maybe I’m seeking more smarts—science tells us that time spent in nature both reduces stress levels and improves cognitive function. Elizabeth Kwak-Heffernan, in a May 2012 article in Backpacker magazine, cites a University of Rochester study (2010) that showed even 15 minute nature walks gave rise to a greater sense of “vitality”; she also describes an environmental neuroscience project that shows how “exposure to nature causes significant, measurable changes to the brain” that “let you think more clearly, focus more acutely, and perform to your maximum cognitive ability.” Continue reading →

Love, Lace, & Satin: A (Family) Affair to Remember

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Pillow scheming
Ring pillow
Mother and daughter

♥ ♥ ♥

Mom in her wedding gown

Mom in her wedding gown

My mother Margaret designed and made the ring pillow Steve and I will use in our wedding ceremony. It’s made from her taffeta wedding dress and lace from the Watteau train of her dress.

My mother was teeny-tiny when she married my father, and the material of her dress had become so delicate that even if I were able to fit into it (which I haven’t been, since I was maybe 16), it wouldn’t have been possible to wear it anyway.

Grandma's blue dress

Grandma’s blue dress

There is also a piece of satin in the pillow from my maternal grandmother’s wedding dress, which was Yale-blue, since my grandfather was a graduate. The satin had faded, so it is incorporated in the pillow as a liner under the white taffeta.

I love the way the pillow pays tribute to generations of mothers and daughters: my mother made her daughter a ring pillow from fabric worn in her own and her mother’s wedding.

Our ring bearer

With our ring bearer

I don’t have a daughter myself to carry our pillow, and my only niece is already in college. But I’m thrilled to honor the next generation of our family by having my brother’s youngest son, my nephew Ethan, carry the pillow as our ring-bearer. With his winning smile, he just might steal the show.

This piece of our ceremony is truly a (family) affair to remember!

♥ ♥ ♥

Our wedding pillow

Our wedding pillow: a family affair!