Snow Day Like Today

“Work is good. No one seriously doubts this truth…. But work is not the only good thing in the world; it is not a fetish to be adored; neither is it to be judged, like a sum in addition, by its outward and immediate results. The god of labor does not abide exclusively in the rolling-mill, the law courts, or the corn field. He has a twin sister whose name is leisure, and in her society he lingers now and then to the lasting gain of both.”

–Agnes Repplier, “Leisure”

Snowy park laneIt probably goes without saying that we folk in Southwest Virginia are snowed in. The white stuff rolled in early yesterday morning, a good inch already on the ground when Steve and I got up around eight. Friday’s classes had been called off for both of us by late Thursday afternoon, so we could enjoy a leisurely morning, lingering over a shared breakfast, sipping our respective cups of tea and coffee, watching the white flakes outside pile higher and higher while we remained snug inside, cats and dog cuddled close, the day stretching out before us. What to do with this unexpected gift of unscheduled time?

Both of us soon agreed—admitted to?—our morning plans: catching up on emails and work.

♥ ♥ ♥

One of the benefits of being an academic: when an epic blizzard comes through, you usually get (unlike, say, nurses, or police officers, or those who work for the power company) a snow day. One of the drawbacks: like your students, you perpetually have homework. There’s always something you could be doing–planning for upcoming classes, reading up on research, grading papers. A “day off” is a relative concept, as are “free” evenings and weekends (not to mention those famously “free” summers). You have to choose to be “free.” You have to claim your time, decide you will, on this day, for this hour, prioritize family or fun, love or leisure.

As a rule, I’d say we’re pretty bad at it. Continue reading

Friday Night Flight

beer tastingToday I was planning to publish a post about the challenge of balancing work with family and other commitments, keeping the first’s importance in perspective in relation to the rest of life’s riches.

free beerSpring semester starts on Monday, however, and I’ve been buried in reading for classes, writing syllabi, and preparing schedules, so I haven’t found (made?) time to complete my blog writing.

Ah, life’s little ironies.

In another twist, instead of slavish devotion to syllabi or essay construction, I elected to go out for a beer with a few of my co-workers and hubby Steve this evening.

I’ll make that essay happen, and I hope you’ll find it worthy. In the meantime, I hope that by putting friends and family first tonight, I’m being a good role model and practicing a little of what I’ll be preaching.

Cheers!

cheers for beer

Epiphany, in Five Trees

1. In a Carton

wine with treeIt’s a blustery Friday night, one week before Christmas. Outside, the wind whistles past the dining room windows while inside, cozy and warm, Steve and I sit across the table from one another, bellies full of delicious Lebanese take-out. It’s our first married Christmas, and after two years of whirlwind holiday traveling to Las Vegas (my family) and Oxford, England (his), it’s our first to be celebrated at home. Nearby, in the living room of our new house, a Christmas tree lies compressed in a large cardboard box, awaiting assembly and festive accoutrement. We pour second glasses of red wine, the Pinot catching the light from the chandelier above as I lift my glass. Steve smiles, offers a “Cheers” and a gentle clink. We sip and savor, share another smile.

And then each of us grabs one of the stacks of papers sitting in the middle of the table, and we begin the marathon push to complete end-of-semester grading. We’ll get to the tree tomorrow. Continue reading

Happy Holidaze

FsFTB has been busy getting her holiday ON!

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Well, okay, not quite THAT on. The credit for this incredible light display goes to Peter Archie, whose commitment to seasonal decor awes me. It took hubby Steve and me an entire afternoon and then some to select, decorate, and hang two lighted garlands and a wreath on our front porch entry; another few weeks passed before we got to the trees. Yes, plural. Between the two of us, we’ve been amassing ornaments for 104 years.

In fact, we visited the above awe-inspiring light display a few days after the holiday, because we couldn’t cobble the time any earlier. This first-married-Christmas thing has been beautiful, surprising, and not a little intense. Continue reading

The Newlywed Lunarversary: A Matter of Time

This Saturday is mine and Steve’s three-month wedding anniversary. When we commented over Thanksgiving that we could go out to dinner in Portland to celebrate the date since we’d be traveling, one of the boys guffawed, teasing us for tracking months, saying three wasn’t much of an accomplishment since most anyone could make a marriage last that long. (Well, except Britney Spears.) But recent events have reminded me that none of us is guaranteed days much less years, so we might as well honor the middling milestones. I’m glad I married a man who shares that same spirit, even if we sometimes struggle to make it happen.

As our first-month anniversary approached, I thought it would be sweet for us to acknowledge our wedding date each month, but I knew if we were going to, we’d need to make a deliberate plan. Both Steve and I are prone to letting the distractions of the day-to-day get the best of our good intentions. Planning something even small and silly would be good for us, help us stay in balance and keep romance present. Continue reading

Take Positive Action: an alternative “advent” calendar

positive: constructive; helpful; being with reward

action: something done or performed; energetic activity; an exertion of power or force

advent: a start to something, an arrival, a beginning

Thursday night, I yelled at my husband. We were having a heated discussion about pretty much the only thing we ever have heated discussions about: this crazy world we live in and the utterly inadequate responses of our leaders and media outlets to that craziness.

I have never been a yeller. My parents did not yell at each other when they argued about things, and I have always prided myself on my ability to fight fairly and reasonably, without losing my cool.

I yelled because I’m angry. I yelled because I’m unspeakably horrified. Because I cannot fathom how two people would leave their six month old baby at home to go on a shooting rampage killing co-workers. Because I cannot understand how someone who claims to be “pro-life” could take aim at people in a Planned Parenthood clinic—or how other “pro-lifers” could say those people deserved to die. I yelled because I’m scared, because I’ve found myself wondering, if only for a moment, whether some wacko will decide to shoot up the next movie I decide to go see. I yelled because I’m disgusted by all the supposedly reasonable gun owners who shrug off any responsibility, saying different regulations or tighter controls on ammunition purchases won’t work, bad things will still happen, violence just is.

I yelled because I’m frustrated. Because I’m heartbroken. Because if I don’t yell I’ll just curl up into a ball and weep, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to stop.

I yelled at Steve because—he was there. Continue reading